Mr Tasteful
by JuamBomb'sWife
Summary: Levi under his timeless mask of emotionless reverie has become interested in the fandom of his favorite anime's. A secret fanfiction writer wanting to have his fun while maintaining his laborious job as a boss. Will he be found out or will his secret be safe. Maybe I'll ship him with someone Happy reading.O3O
_I'm so sorry this was a dare. I tried writing a fic about bagels that also involved Levi. Please don't read if you don't want to see OOC Levi or sad Sasha. My friends are little mean, but here it is. Please don't be harsh check my other stories. T-T_

* * *

 _Bagel-fic_

 **Lovely and Bittersweet**

By:Magical Girl Levi-chan

The satin drapes of the bedroom matched the polka-dots on the eggshell tablecloth in the dining room

Mr Tasteful, or Tio Tench, was no less a popular interior decorator. From the slightest change in color he could tell a "tasteful" home to an undesirable home.

His favorite colors are warm colors, incorporating it in his home in every available crevice, nook, and cranny seen and unseen from the trained eye.

Though he loves to plan and rearrange and take requests from his regulars, anytime breakfast came around he usually takes more time out of his schedule to enjoy it.

"Coffee; iced. Almonds; roasted. Eggs; scrambled. Bagel; cream-cheesed. Apple; untouched", he whispered as he rounded the table to sit in his rustic chair.

He took his time to savor each food, excluding the bagel for last. He never liked bagels when he was young, and it was years later until he found it wasn't some alien oddity and took a liking to it.

Eyeing it down he slowly picked it up and looked at it intently.

"You're undesirable. Sweet or unsweetened you're bitter to me, rubber donut. This time I'll call you Nan", he bit out softly as he held the bagel closer to his face.

He slowly licked the round while disapprovingly stared at it, taking silent, small bites as he neared the center until a half inch border formed around the hole. Stopping, he lifted it, hanging it in front of the garbage can and dropped it inside.

"Any hole can be a dirty hole, though not all can be cleaned. Nan you're quite dirtiest with thought and creation. Someone must be quite perverted to create such a thing. Nan you're quite a dirty whore aren't you?", he said as he cleaned the dishes.

When he returned to the table he saw he recieved a text message from one of his close friends reading:

 _You're still on about that damn dramatic bagel business huh? Take as long as you want, but don't start dating it._

After reading the message, he blushed and brewed himself another cup of coffee before heading over to have an awkward meeting with his friend.

* * *

"Hey what are you doing?", Mikasa asked from the the office door.

"Finishing up errands. The presentation has started, correct?" Levi's ever emotionless eyes eyed the woman at the door.

"Yes."

"Now go. Tell them I will come after grabbing something from the break room. Is that clear Ackerman?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now hop to it."

The woman left the room without another word as the clacking of her heels slowly vanished as she went down the hallway. With a heavy sigh Levi turned off his computer after signing out of his profile on his fanfiction account.

"Close, very close Tio-chan", Levi said as he traced his fingers across his crudely drawn main protagonist before sandwiching it between his folders.

"We'll meet another time my prince."

As he swiftly leaving his office he checked the hallways for any remaining residence. When he was sure he was truly alone he skipped to the break room.

"Fighting evil by moonlight

Winning love by daylight

Never running from a real fight..

She is the one named sailor...", he quietly sang as he scanned the room for something to lift his spirits, after finding a highly decorated basket he saw what he might have elicited a positive reaction on any other day, an apple. He grabbed it, turned it, and inspected for imperfection, nothing was working though he still pocketed it and checked in the fridge for anything moving, but only saw one lone bagel. He held it close to his lips and whispered," **Only the dirtiest imperfections get to grace my fingers, though you are just simply filth, nothing wrong, plain, bland, dirt-free, but you are just unworthy filth. You're just a filthy little rubber donut, you little welt y-...** "

The microwave let out a soft beep after his little episode. " **I'll find your brethren next time and eradicate every single one of them. Don't you forget you dirty abomination..** "

Gathering his composure he smoothed back his hair and put the little bagel back into the fridge. It stood lopsided as if in defiance of his meticulous nature. After getting his favorite morning cup he made himself some coffee.

Running back to the conference room with his hot black delight he wasn't surprised to see everything in disarray.

"Sasha the slides aren't coming up!" _"I'm sorry!"_

"Why is the computer so sticky?" _"It was the jelly donuts I had earlier, you see I-"_

 _"Levi!..Urm sir I'm sorry about the whole situation I was just too busy reading the new chapter of my favorite author...I'm sure you don't know her...but she wrote a new chapter for and...um sir?"_

 _"Sasha of all people...",_ Levi thought as the coffee he was currently sipping came out in torrents from his mouth.

 _"Sir did I displease you?"_

"Hwack! No...actually wait. Yes, give me a few moments...I'm going to dock your pay by a lot...hweck!"

 _"Why~..."_

"Because I said so...Miss Ackerman!", he barked.

"Yes sir?"

"Postpone the meeting for an hour...I-I'll come back"

"Sir!"

"That's an order", leaving the room with his half-empty coffee to his office.

As he slumped in his chair he wiped his mouth clean of the coffee driblets with his cotton hankerchief.

"That girl almost scared the dickens out of me...hwah~...Now to decrease the amount by her clumsiness and her lack for keeping on task. heh heh~"

Somewhere in a random office.

 **"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOORE GOURMET FOOOOD! wahhhah ha ha...! WHY ME!"**

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Thank god it's been a while. None of the happy stuff today I'm pretty tired. GO IB! GO Ib... ~.~. Huh oh yeah. Update: erasing old stories and rewriting them. No one is in the spirit for joining in so I understand. I'm just gonna do this for fun. :) Hope you can post a comment even if it's just a few words. Happy reading~


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